Dear Women,
I am writing this letter to you as a fellow woman who has experienced the joys and challenges of being a sexual being in a patriarchal society. I want to share with you some of the lessons I have learned and some of the advice I have to offer.
First of all, don't let anyone shame you or guilt-trip you for having sex with someone you feel connected with. Sexuality is something that you can own, enjoy, and share with whoever you want, as long as it is consensual and respectful. You have the right to explore your sexuality and express it in ways that make you happy and fulfilled. You don't owe anyone an explanation or an apology for your sexual choices and partners.
Secondly, ditch the notion that when you sleep with a man you relinquish your power. No, it does not imply that you become submissive, dependent, or inferior to him. A woman can sleep with a man and still be equal and independent in other aspects of their relationship. You can sleep with a man and still have your own opinions, preferences, and goals. A woman can sleep with a man and still be a boss lady that can get whatever a man can. Sleeping with a man does not define your worth or potential, nor does it limit your opportunities or possibilities.
Thirdly, don't buy into the double standard that a man can sleep with a woman he wants to, but a woman can't do the same. What stops a woman from doing the same? Nothing, except the social stigma and the internalized misogyny that make us feel guilty or dirty for expressing our sexuality. And what power does a man get from sleeping with a woman that a woman can't get from doing the same? None, except the illusion of dominance and superiority that is based on outdated and sexist notions of gender roles and sexual morality.
Fourthly, don't use your sexuality as a bargaining chip or a weapon to manipulate others. I understand that as women we have different needs and priorities and are built for different things, so we can sometimes project our sexuality as a way of getting what we want or need. But that is always a dishonest and risky approach that can backfire and hurt us in the long run. It can also damage our self-respect and our relationships with ourselves and others.
Fifthly, to own your sexuality you need to own your power, your resources and be in charge of your finances. You can't be dependent on a man for basic things and still want to be respected and treated like a boss lady. It is when you have control over yourself, your resources, your influence and your finances that you automatically command respect and can get what you want and when you want it. Being financially independent and self-reliant gives you the freedom and confidence to pursue your dreams and goals, without being held back by anyone or anything.
I hope this letter inspires you to embrace your sexuality and your power as a woman. You are beautiful, strong, and capable of achieving anything you set your mind to. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
With love and solidarity,
Captain on Cupidship [email protected]
